disjointed ramblings, trying to just get all this down before I lose it

What if someone just explained that all your real world problems are illusions of circumstance?

And what if you listened?

Seriously, what problems do you have right now?

Think about it. If you get the root of all problems, they boil down to external forces usually not in this moment anyhow.

I don't think he's into me any more. Or. I'm worried about not making my deadlines. Or. I'm not getting this job I applied for, I know it etc. These are ALL external and ALL not in the present and maybe all bullshit anyway, I have no way of knowing, but that's not my point.

Worrying about the future or the past is futile. The past is gone and the future will be made up of what we can influence and what we can't. . . if you have influence, use it instead of worrying about it, if you don't, well, it's useless to worry about things you can't influence. . . I can't make him like me, I can't force someone's hand to promote me, etc. Total waste of the moment to worry about it.

If you're still with me, and here's where my ego started to fight me, so if there are no real problems, only circumstances, only a list of things we can influence and things we simply can't change right now, there really only is this moment, then there is no real anxiety or fear.

It's all something we just do to ourselves really. Maybe for comfort, maybe for complexity, maybe we make problems because we enjoy trying to solve them or because more people identify with sadness than bliss? I'm not at 'why' yet.

(I heard once that you can't put stress in a jar. I think I get that now.)

What if you could bring yourself to believe that it really all within you?

Would you feel weightless bliss? Flee it? Fight it? Would you miss how much self induced pain made up your own identity? Would you miss complaining about the future, lamenting the past, blaming the world for your unhappiness?

Would you choose happiness, misery, indifference? What would you feel in this moment if it was completely your call?

What if you searched yourself and found that you knew it all along?

I think it's time to go home.